This is the date I let go of who I was before my injury and accepted who I am right now. Totally. Completely. Finally.
I expect the week off of work helped. That time to recuperate reminded me that my life doesn’t have to be constant pain and over-reaching my energy limits. It returned my ability to judge my perspective and shift it. It made things finally click for me.
Why judge what I can and cannot do harshly? Why be angry at myself when I cannot do something? Why hate myself for not being who I once was?
It makes no sense. Dead is dead. Gone is gone.
On December 1st I finally – finally – brushed myself off and looked around. I see myself, and realize that how I feel about what I can and can’t do is more a function of judgments from a previous reality – be that two years ago or 30 – than what is happening now. Those old judgments and beliefs are no longer mine, no longer reflect who I am. It is time for change.
I finally wrote a positive affirmation that I connected with in a real way.
“Today, I accept and love myself exactly how I am.”
Now re-read it. Then say it out loud. Next, write it. Write it until you believe it. Say it until that belief is a default, is a core way of relating with the world. Read it until you don’t see it anymore, because it is so obvious and so true. The end. And. The beginning.