December 1, 2015

This is the date I let go of who I was before my injury and accepted who I am right now.  Totally.  Completely.  Finally.

I expect the week off of work helped.  That time to recuperate reminded me that my life doesn’t have to be constant pain and over-reaching my energy limits.  It returned my ability to judge my perspective and shift it.  It made things finally click for me.

Why judge what I can and cannot do harshly?  Why be angry at myself when I cannot do something?  Why hate myself for not being who I once was?

It makes no sense.  Dead is dead.  Gone is gone.

On December 1st I finally – finally – brushed myself off and looked around.  I see myself, and realize that how I feel about what I can and can’t do is more a function of judgments from a previous reality – be that two years ago or 30 – than what is happening now.  Those old judgments and beliefs are no longer mine, no longer reflect who I am.  It is time for change.

I finally wrote a positive affirmation that I connected with in a real way.

“Today, I accept and love myself exactly how I am.”

Now re-read it.  Then say it out loud.  Next, write it.  Write it until you believe it.  Say it until that belief is a default, is a core way of relating with the world.  Read it until you don’t see it anymore, because it is so obvious and so true. The end. And. The beginning.

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2 Responses to December 1, 2015

  1. Sophie M. Gray says:

    I know how hard it is to accept this new reality. I have been denying it for a whole year, then struggled to accept this year, and I think I am finding myself in the same stage of acceptance. So good for you! Congratulations!

    Like

  2. velvetpuzzle says:

    I find myself in a similar place. It takes a certain kind of flexibility, resiliency, innovation to see yourself as you are now in all its beauty, rather than just seeing now as a shadow of before. I’m finding that accepting my limitations and embracing them is allowing me to adjust for them more and that in and of itself is actually making my world larger. Another stage of post TBI growth.

    Like

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